Adding Time

This time of year is crisp. It is also going by too fast. In order to add time to my day, I need to get up at 5 am....

I am trying to plan for a wedding that is 8 months away. I am not getting very excited. I had the romanticized Ideal that it would be a fun and exciting time, but it is just adding more stress. I am slowly working, and trying not to get too discouraged.... I am already feeling like I am running out of time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turning Point

The last four months have been difficult. My Cerebral Palsy has a mind of it's own and is testing me. My leg is over worked and over tired. And I am over it! I don't like taking my frustrations out on my family. I am newly married, and though I love it, I don't like putting this added weight onto my husband. He keeps telling me it will be ok. And maybe it will be, but it just doesn't seem fair to anyone that I am upset, so they should be too. I admit I am stressed and irritable. I am angry, hurt and miserable. The Hell I endure daily is something I cannot describe to any one. I try, but words fail me. My body is failing me. I am failing me.... So this night, I say, I am done with all the negativity. I am turning things around. I am strong I can endure. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know that, yes, indeed. Things will be ok.
Read more

Out of the Darkened Shadowes of my Eyes

Another night of tossing and turning and dealing with my pain and Demons. It is 6 am, as I write the house is still. I love this moment. A moment of my own, where my thoughts are still asleep. This is the time I focus my energy into creating a life I want and need. Not to say I am not happy now. For the most part I am. I also know I am a mess. My mind and body is always "ON". Where the heck is the off switch? I feel I am withing reach of the light beyond the dark, just need to reach a bit farther.....
Read more

Scattered thoughts and debris

It's OK if things don't go according to plan. Thing happen. It's OK to keep an open mind, to be flexible.... I am feeling very scattered, unfocused. How do I pull focus from a place I can't grasp, comprehend or name? I am feeling very cranky and ridged. Is this how it is going to be? No, I know it is not, at least not for an extended period of time. In my mind it is a different story.... Just keep breathing, when I have a moment to draw breath. Everything feels so heavy. It takes effort with everything I do. Why is that? Am I what people are telling me? Am I more? or am I less. Trying to find balance behind the chaos. I also know I am not making much sense. How do I prevent that? How is it I can be so aware of the mess, yet not be my whole self at 100 percent? All these questions, never answers. Or am I not listening again? Stop asking questions, learn to LOOK.....
Read more