PAO surgery Post-op week 4

It has been a month, since my hip preservation surgery. I can't help but feel so utterly alone in this journey. In the beginning, I thought I was super woman and invincible. But now? Now I feel just tired. My soul long to return home. I just have to get through each day, joyful. Yet, I struggle. This is so hard! I am in pain and no one gets how exhausting all this really is. It tests me. I have destroyed relationships. I am changing as a person. I want to believe it is for the better. But right now, I just want to snuggle up with my pillow and blanket and cry. I keep asking am I really Healing? Or am I just deceiving everyone, including me? I also wondering how I can continue doing this on my own? It soon became apparent that although all people in my circle want to help me, I even asked help, when I was at my worst, they all fled and rejected me... I think I am okay, because ultimately this particular journey is only for me to know and travel on. You can walk with me, Take my hands, but this is my personal journey to balance. You can only go so far.

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